Shall we move somewhere sunny, darling?

Okay, I’ve had enough. Where are the bloody warm Spring days already? I’ve given it until almost mid March before exploding, but now,  I have to let rip… I am an avid hater of cold and winter (except the odd snowy day and the lovely glowy feel of a few days off with family over Christmas) But this Winter was just ri -bloody-diculously loooooooooonnnnnnnnggggggg! It started mid-September and has lasted so far, almost 6 months. I am a Leo – Leo the Lion who likes to bask in the sunshine (wearing at least an SPF 15 darling, of course) and nothing makes me happier than a warm, sunny day – especially when it’s the weekend and you can drink ice cold wine or a tasty rose by the river! Heaven on earth…

But NO! I’ve tried everything to get the warmth into me today –  I’ve turned the heating up full blast, been out walking the doggy do dah at a fast pace (though had to slow down when I realised I was marching on and he’d crouched down to poo and trailed it half way down the road – oops!), ate chocolate, drank coffee, ate more chocolate and even threw on Stressed Husband’s thick old fleece over my trackie (god, I’m so styleeesh) but STILL, my fingers are numb with cold and now my duvet is calling me into its billowy cosiness and yet I have to resist as it’s nearly school run time.

I’ve even had a quiet little word with Him Upstairs and said, thanks for not making it rain and thanks for making it brighter, but really, there’s no bloody point of sending out the sunshine unless it starts doing its job properly – and that is to emit great big, ice cap melting, polar bear killing (no, sorry, take that back, didn’t mean it!) sunbeams for me to revel in for heaven’s sake! Flipping hell – it’s like watching a movie without the sound – just no point! And that brings me on to the question that comes up same time every year and gets flung at Stressed Husband as he comes through the door with icicles dripping off his nose…”Shall we move somewhere sunny, darling?” I ask brightly. Then we spend the next few days working out the logistics of us moving to Barcelona (that’s the latest location – though in the past it has been Sydney and Florida and Italy) dragging the Mean Teen, My Boy and Little Angel (and of course, Doggy Do-Dah) emigrating for a warmer, more outdoorsy way of life. So, we try to hold a ‘family conference’, which consists of sitting around the dinner table while I smile and try to get the children to picture us all tanned, happy and laughing together on the beach (which we could visit everyday – and maybe even have a pool!) and sigh at the idea of us becoming bi-lingual and strolling down Las Ramblas in the early evening, eating tapas, people watching. I big up the idea of the handsome young dudes (for Mean Teen) and sassy senoritas (for My Boy) and keep on about the possibility of splashing around after school in our own pool or the sea (for Little Angel) And Stressed Husband scours their faces in search of smiles and hopefully, signs of excitement…Instead one by one they get up and shake their heads and look at us incredulously as they head off to their rooms, to Facebook, World of Warcraft or Club Penguin…

And off I go to the fridge to get Stressed Husband and me a large glass of ice cold white wine and start rifling through the C.Ds while we contemplate how long it might be until perhaps we can go and live abroad without the kids? We work out maybe by the time Little Angel is 18 – in 10 years time.

“But what about when they have children?” I think out loud.

“What about it?” Stressed Husband shrugs.

“Well – I could never leave my grandchildren – what sort of a grandmother do you take me for?!”

Rolling his eyes, Stressed Husband saunters back to the fridge for a re-fill and turns up Club Tropicana…


3 thoughts on “Shall we move somewhere sunny, darling?

  1. I used to fancy George Michael so much. Enough, in fact, to consider emigrating from this cold and frosty land in search of him. The UK is now officially just like Cold Land in the Mr Men book Mr Snow. I wish I hadn’t put my Moon Boots in a car boot sale two years ago.

  2. Hi there,

    Sorry to hijack your comments thread but I just wanted to let you know that you have been nominated as the Funniest MAD Blogger in this year’s Mum and Dad Blog awards.

    You can read all about the MAD blog awards here at where you can also download a badge to display on your blog to encourage your readers to submit more nominations. There more you get, the more likely you are to be short-listed for the next round and there are some amazing prizes on offer.

    Thanks for your time and good luck!

    Josie (on behalf of the MAD awards)

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