Job from HELL!

cake can always make things better - writeonmum motto

Feeling a bit low in confidence at my lack of freelance commissions lately, I started to think that maybe it was time I knocked the world of women’s mags on the head – as an ex staffer who’s spent too long procrastinating and eating biscuits under the pretence of taking time out with the kids – getting the attention of new editors has been tough with a capital T. So, I began to think I should perhaps forget my journalistic intentions and take a little no-stress, part-time job that will give me and the family an extra bit of money on top of Stressed Husband’s ever dwindling self-employed salary…

Mean Teen is desperate for new bras (I make do with mismatched holey Primark undies while she shimmies across the landing in flirty gossamer-light jobbies from La Senza…She’s 15! Hello? Something not right here or what?) Little Angel could do with a wardrobe update and My Boy? My God! I swear he’s growing an inch a day and having to have his ankles invite his trousers down for tea is not a good look for a hormone-ly challenged adolescent with a squeaky breaky voice looking for his 1st romance. So, I saw a job that I thought might fit the bill – fairly local, a position that shouldn’t have caused my cerebellum much confusion, so I applied on the Wednesday, got an interview on the Friday, was offered the job and told to start a trial on Monday!

I left the interview feeling like Superwoman – confidence restored. Wow, I must give good interview, I thought. No. Seems like they were desperate for someone who could start ASAP and I suspect that those who may have been more suited for the job than me, yet would have to give a few week’s notice, were crossed off the list. Whereas moi, at-home mum-pretending-to-be-freelancer, didn’t have a life and could start straight away. It was advertised as full-time, but said that I could do part-time because She wanted me for the job. And although there was a ‘little admin’ to start, She said, She wanted me for my writing and P.R experience and I could make the job ‘my own’. Hahahahahahahahahahahahah…

Monday would be a ‘trial day’ She said, where She would show me the ropes, give me a defined job description and negotiate the salary. Instead, she chucked me on a heavingly busy reception desk while scary client after scary client (unthinkably rich, powerful people – it was a different world – trust me) turned up unannounced to the office and looked on disapprovingly while I fumbled about trying to carry out their requests for invoices etc on a computer with softwear systems in place that I’d never even seen before and a phone that was ringing off the hook. Meanwhile, SHE locked herself away in meetings fawning over these clients and making them feel even more important and fabulous than they already thought they were. YUCK!

After two days much the same and still no sign of job description or talk of salary, I emailed her to tell her where to stick her crappy old job. I’d gone out and bought myself a couple of ‘work’ outfits too, and those, along with the price of the train tickets to work and the stress of it all means that I’ve wound up even poorer and looking more haggard than I was at the start! So, what did the family think when I told them that I wouldn’t be going back to work there? Stressed Husband, bless him, understood how awful it had been for me and after a consolation cuddle, slinked off with the remote control and told me that maybe we’d survive – if I swap from Sainsbury’s to Lidl. My Boy was pleased that with me at home, I might not keep on at him as much to pick up his dirty clothes because “I’m working now you know – we all have to help out now”, Little Angel was happy that me and her got our walk to school time now I didn’t have to rely on a friend to take her. And Mean Teen? She slammed shut the laptop, walked out of the kitchen saying “Not worth me looking on holiday websites now then is it? Cheers mum.” I love you too Mean Teen, Love you too.


5 thoughts on “Job from HELL!

  1. oh boy, i can remember being such a stroppy mean teen.

    sorry to hear the job sucked and She was stuck up her own behind. Not nice. I hate people like that.

    Glad to hear the others were reasonably glad to have you home though, even of you wont be sunning yourselves on a tropical island in the near future.

  2. Thanks for your good wishes. I can remember being a stroppy teen but you never realise just how stroppy you are until you’re the mum the teen is being stroppy to!

  3. Cor get you – I would have syphoned off a few jars of botox and nabbed some implants – you could have sold them down Shepherds Bush market for a handsome sum or even better, forged some celebrity signatures on the implants and sold them on ebay…

    1. Good idea Nixdminx, you have the mind of a crafty business mogul…unfortunately I wasn’t there long enough to nab myself any booty – or should I say, boobie? hehe.

  4. Is great that you could walk away in two days. Most people would’ve stayed indefinitely.

    If you don’t have respect where you are is better to quit. So well done. and I wish you better luck with your freelance gigs.


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