The Crazy Rainbow House

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I was so very excited to get the keys to our new house yesterday and for those of you who know me, you will know that the excitement has nothing to do with the state of the house – it’s a dung heap! I just couldn’t wait to see it again without the previous owner following us from room to room making it impossible for me to laugh at the hideous decor because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. He was a nice chap really, with a fixation on bikes (over 20 in the shed and a further 15 in rooms around the house) and colourful radiators…

So, pretend that I’m your average estate agent – all jolly smiles and hand shakes – and here we go…

So madam, this is the lovely blue radiator…

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Which I believe makes a lovely feature against the peeling wallpaper and wonky floorboards. And this….

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Is the lovely green radiator which I think you’ll find a charming diversion from the pipes poking up from the floor and the little mouse that just scurried across the room. Now, moving on…Here you will see the most remarkable…

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Yellow radiator, that I’m sure you’ll agree blends in very nicely with the unidentifiable stains on the curtains. I do so love a coloured radiator Madam, don’t you?

Erm…

But let me show you this wonderful left over piece of Parmesan cheese and half eaten packet of Haribo that are growing green mildew and have been kindly left by the previous owner to make the kitchen drawers smell so…tantalising. Yes, I can see by your face that you’re astonished such edible delicacies would be left behind…

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Now, you will be the envy of your neighbours when you invite them to use this…

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A thoroughly modern, high tech outside cloakroom with its very own cobwebs and spiders the size of a small dog. Very tasteful.

And here we have another subtly decorated room…

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I find the red, gloss paint and damson coloured carpet such a relaxing choice of colour for a bedroom. And of course, no des res would be complete without…

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The avocado bathroom Madam! Your husband did put in a special request for this feature as he knew you held a special fondness for this shade of bathroom suite.

Well, there you have it Madam. I’m sure you will be very happy living in your beautiful new home and you’re very lucky that it is already so stylishly decorated leaving you little work yourself.

Ah. Before I go, there is just one thing I need to warn you about but you mustn’t let it alarm you. There has been talk of a crazy man, a Hobit like creature, that lives in your garden shed but I’m sure he is harmless…

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Oh dear. I guess he’ll just have to stay.

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One thought on “The Crazy Rainbow House

  1. Pingback: Check-In: Crazy House Hotel, Dalat, Vietnam | Flight965.com

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