My Hair Love Affair

Shhhh…I don’t know quite how to tell you this, but I have to tell someone, else I feel I might go mad. I’m having an affair…I know, it’s terrible – I can’t understand it myself. I’m no love struck teen, but all of a sudden I’ve found myself Googling pictures of my desire and wasting minutes (ok, hours) staring dreamily in awe. And when I see my love, my heart starts pounding and my hands get sweaty as I imagine what it would be like to…have Jennifer Aniston’s hair!

Yeah, yeah, I know what you lot were thinking! Oh, poor Stressed Husband, there he is, slogging his guts out trying to please clients from hell,  while she not only doesn’t have his dinner on the table for when he gets home and laughs away her laissez faire housekeeping skills, but she has the audacity to take a lover…selfish cow. Well now you know it’s not a ‘jiggy jiggy’ love affair you can calm down and have a look at this. I won’t believe you if you say your heart doesn’t skip a beat…or at least give a little flutter…

Jennifer herself is a pretty lady, that’s true, but I would still desire that hair, even if it was atop a gorilla. It’s not so much the style, mostly it’s the colour. How would you describe it? Soft caramel with golden flecked highlights? Ambrosia and cream? Oh whatever…it’s just gorge and I want it!

Since my first head of highlights at 15 which left my dark mouse coloured hair a greyish ash blonde with crispy bleached white ends, I’ve been on the quest for the perfect hair colour with some huge disasters along the way. Well, don’t forget, you had to have a follicle frizzling perm as well back in the day (the 80’s!) so by lightening your hair too you were asking for trouble…

Where's the afro comb hiding?

I’m still searching for that perfect shade between mouse and blonde with lighter golden streaks a la Jennifer Aniston above but no matter what adjectives for hair colour I use…custard, caramel, camel, golden, honey, amber….whenever I leave the hairdressers, I still get my regular mid-blonde highlights with a few darker streaks thrown in. It’s nice. I like it, but I don’t luuuurrrrrrve it.

Here are another couple of shades I like…

and

So hellbent am I on achieving this holy grail of a hair colour, that I have been known to run through a crowded street with the intention of accosting some poor innocent (bloody lucky) woman that sports just the shade I’m after to ask where she had it done. But as I’m running (or walking speedily – don’t want to look like a nutter) I always lose my bottle and think perhaps when I reach her, she will simply laugh at my raggedy, blah coloured hair stuck to my sweaty forehead and say spitefully  ‘I’m not telling!’ before shimmying away, flicking her jel-inspiring locks.

So, instead I just flick through hundreds of magazines and websites and build up a little portfolio of pictures that I take to the hairdressers (and stare at a lot) and hope that one day I too, might have lust-worthy hair.

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