No Junk Mail…I said NO JUNK MAIL!

Apart from that one, coarse black hair that sprouts its curly way from my chin and appears – magically – overnight, a bit like Jack’s beanstalk (though not green and leafy) nothing makes me more annoyed than junk mail and unwanted door to door salesmen. I’ve avoided the ugly No Junk Mail sticker and Don’t Knock Unless You’re Invited stickers that I’ve seen plastered over some front doors along my road; I’ve always thought them a little tacky and Victor Meldrew-ish. But not anymore.

Honestly, this week, I’ve had unwanted correspondence about everything that I don’t want to know about and it isn’t helpful, it just adds to my recycling pile (or lays gathering dust in the letter rack until I can be bothered to throw it away!). And what about the salesmen or charity workers who turn up just when dinner’s about to be dished up and start my dog, Troy, off in a frenzy of excited woofing? Troy thinks whoever comes to the door is out to get ‘his family’ and so it is his duty to snarl and bark until his eyes almost eyes pop out – or until the salesman runs off down the path in fear. And them running away suits me if they are trying to get me to sign up to a charity. I already give to the charities that I want to, the amount that I want to and when I want to and I’d prefer not to be ambushed into signing a direct debit on the spot for a fixed amount which invariably means constant emails and calls from the charity asking me for even more money – which is thinly disguised as a thank you call, updating me about the cause.

And how about the regular knocking on my door of Frankie’s Fresh Fish Man? I don’t know how many times I have to tell him that that no matter how jolly and fisherman friendly he is, my family don’t like fish much and we never will – so JOG ON fish face! And, the caller that makes me want to close the blinds and hide behind the sofa the most, is the man selling home-wares: I don’t want to buy badly made dish clothes and feather dusters at the door – but buy them I do – and at hugely inflated prices (don’t tell Stressed Husband) because I feel sorry for the homeless guys selling them.

However, there is one thing I would be happy to buy at the door if you’re selling and that’s a No Junk Mail sticker…and I’ll even pop the dog out the back for you.

This Week’s Wonders

After a particularly hectic week, it’s good to take stock at the weekend and see that there were actually a few shining moments among the mayhem. Here are a few pictures of the things that made my whirlwind of a week worth it…

There was Little Angel and her Tom and Jerry cakes that cheered me up just when I was craving something sweet but thought we had nothing in the cupboards to satisfy my sweet tooth | The Absolutely Chiswick magazine which showcased some of the PR for a client that I’ve been working so hard on lately – and gave me confidence that I’m doing something right at a new job | The swans in Chiswick House that are so serene and graceful that watching them for just a few seconds slows down a racing heartbeat | My big dog Troy cuddling his little soft toy, Pinky. Over his almost 4 years with us, he has chewed to pieces ‘indestructible’ dog toys, shoes, remote controls, books and more, yet his little, flimsy Pinky has got by with just lots of slobber and a chewed ear. He truly loves his little friend | Next is my very own Cinderella: Queen Teen has finally got proof from interested agents and casting directors that her years of hard work and training in musical theatre, is definitely paying off – watch this space! | Finally, a simple bouquet of yellow roses given to me by Little Angel – she didn’t forget it was Valentine’s day, unlike somebody’s Stressed Husband. What a lovely week after all!

The New Keep Fit Craze: Piloxing

I’ve managed to shock myself by keeping up some sort of regular exercise regime for the past couple of years. Who would have thought? Me, a keep fit convert, who after years of competitive swimming hung up my Speedos at 16 and kept anything remotely exerting as far away from my lounge lizard lifestyle as possible. The only thing I put energy into during my 20′s and 30′s – apart from the whirling dervishes that are my children – was eating. I even managed to earn myself the nickname of ‘Cake Monster’ in my early 20′s but now, as you can see from a couple of my older posts, I’m loving a bit of Zumba and Pilates and now…I’m going potty for Piloxing!

What is Piloxing? I hear you cry. It’s the latest Hollywood celebrity fitness craze loved by celebrities like Hilary Duff and Vanessa Hudgens, and in the words of the official website here, it mixes Pilates and boxing into a ‘fat torching’ and ‘muscle sculpting’ workout guaranteed to whip you into shape. And in my words? It’s flipping hard work and at first you feel like a bit of a twonk dipping and diving and upper cutting and jabbing until you start to feel those feel good endorphins zooming around  your body as you do the ‘booty burnout’ (wobble your bum really fast – a tsunami of tush!) and then you start to stop worrying about what you look like and enjoy it! Really, you do. The loud, pumping music is an upbeat mix of current street sounds which can sometimes get stuck in your head and drive you loopy for the rest of the day, but it really adds to the powerful workout. Swedish dancer and celebrity trainer Viveca Jensen, developed Piloxing to fulfill her mission to physically and mentally empower women through fitness. So, what’s not to love…apart from the beetroot face and jelly legs after a class? Here’s how it goes…

If you’re near Chiswick and you want to check out Piloxing, come to to Anny’s studio where you might find the odd super sylph like mum, but I can assure you, most of us don’t look like those super fit gym bunnies in the above video. You’re more likely to find us in baggy t-s and M&S leggings giggling at our Mohammed Ali impersonations as we workout.

What’s your favourite fitness class?

Rise of the CC Cream

Remember the big hoo-haa about BB creams last year? I joined in too here, loving the light coverage and hint of a tint from my ‘make-up bestie’ Garnier BB Cream. Throughout the spring and summer it was just enough with the addition of a little concealer, then as winter descended, I blended it with a higher coverage foundation to keep my skin moisturised and protected from the harsh weather.

Well, guess what ladies? Good news is a-coming and it’s time for those baby BB creams to move on over and allow the new and improved, darling of the dream cream team take centre stage – “Taaa-daaaah!”

It’s the new CC Cream. I haven’t tried it yet (it’s on my to buy list – at the top) but as far as makeup artists and beauty aficionados are concerned, it is the Must Have for your make-up bag and the Need to Have for your complexion. Let me show you how excited I am…

I heard a rumour that CC cream was imminent and now, thanks to @GossBeautyStyle on Twitter I’m pleased to find out that the makers of global best selling beauty brand, Rodial have bought out a CC Cream in their reasonably priced Nip + Fab range. It’s the first of its kind to hit the UK stores but a quick trip to Boots shows that L’Oreal Paris Nude Magique CC Cream, £9.99, is hot on its heels and a luxe Chanel version is about to touch down any day now.

Any male readers may have given up reading this post now they’ve realised that BB and CC doesn’t stand for bra cup sizes – but for those of you still following, you might be interested to know that CC stands for Complete Corrective cream and beauty experts say it delivers more skin nourishing benefits than a BB, as well as more coverage and a higher SPF of 30.

Check out the YouTube clip below featuring application of CC cream to see what you think.

In this video, the young-enough-to-be-my-daughter model has skin to die for even prior to any makeup application but on hearing the make-up artist utter the words ‘young, fresh, glowy skin’ was enough to make me whip out my  CC (credit card!). I may be a sucker for a bit of beauty baloney, but I definitely want to give this a go. Will you try it – or do you think it might be possible that we’ll be forking out for a DD cream next year?

Teenage Beauty

Imagine the scenario…you’re working hard as a cleaner and you have two young teenage daughters to look after. Your girls moan about not being happy with their looks, so what would you do? As mum of an 18 year old and 12 year old daughter, I’m used to the odd negative comment:  ’I hate my freckles, my bum looks big, I wish my boobs were bigger…’ These are normal, teenage dilemmas, surely? Well, in today’s issue of The Sun there’s a story about a Colombian cleaner who spent  more than£10,000 on flying her 15 year old daughter to Colombia to have bum and boob implants and liposuction. The youngest daughter had a nose job at 14 and has now also had a buttock implant to give her the shape of her adored idol, ‘bootylicious’ Jennifer Lopez.

The fact that the mother of these girls is a cleaner and has spent thousands on cosmetic surgery for her teenager daughters is mind boggling enough – surely the money would be better off spent or saved for their education/future rather than lavished on their appearance? But what’s more disturbing than the amount of money spent, is the fact that this mother is actually feeding her children’s insecurities about their looks by allowing their bodies to be cut, nipped and tucked! Most doctors would agree that a woman’s body might not be fully developed until the late teens and early twenties and so cosmetic surgery before this age is definitely not recommended, and wouldn’t be allowed in Britain.

The reason this story made the papers is because, thankfully, this mum’s reaction to her children’s looks is so unusual and extreme – as are those of the fluff-for-brains mums who allow their teens to have botox or their toddlers to have spray tans and wear false eyelashes. Of course, as women, we are aware that the images of perfect, flawless women in films and magazines will have an effect on our girls, so it’s our duty to remind them that most of the glamorous pictures they see are airbrushed and not realistic. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t encourage my girls to make the most of their appearance – even if it’s just trying to prevent Little Angel from leaving the house with un brushed hair and holes in her tights (I don’t always succeed).

To me, it’s common sense that we should instil confidence in our children by telling them they are gorgeous just the way they are and letting them know that looks should come second to a lovely personality and being a good person. But while I’m on the subject of teenagers and their looks, if your daughter is experimenting with makeup and looking more Coco the Clown than Coco Chanel, you might want to invest in makeup guru Bobbi Brown’s Beauty Rules, £17.99. This easy to flick through book is described as ‘a fresh, energetic beauty bible for teenagers and young women’ and I love the way it promotes natural beauty and goes over the makeup basics, showing girls how to achieve a glowing, pretty look to boost their confidence rather than masking their complexion.

The Impossible: A review

I’m not a film reviewer, but I just had to share my thoughts on The Impossible, the moving and horrific portrayal of one family’s life being torn to shreds by the tsunami that tragically destroyed hundred and thousands of lives in Thailand on Boxing Day 2004.  Directed by JA Bayona (The Orphanage) and starring mum of the family Maria (Naomi Watts), dad  Henry (Ewan McGregor) and their three young boys Lucas (Tom Holland), Thomas (Samuel Joslin) and Simon (Oaklee Pendergast) it really earned the ‘will have you on the edge of your seats’ tag that I’ve often read in movie reviews.

At first, I didn’t know whether I should see this film as Queen Teen had warned me “you will love it mum, but you won’t be able to watch because you’ll be crying too much.” Being known to well up with emotion at ‘Animals and Children do The Silliest Things’ type of shows, I thought she might have a point. But I was intrigued and so, Stressed Husband and I went along to Westfields, armed with tissues (and chocolate) and took our places. From the outset of the film I was hooked at the beauty of the lush, calm surroundings of the Orchid Resort in Phuket, Thailand and the friendly, gentle Thai resort staff. This peaceful and relaxed environment was a stark contrast to the violent and belligerent freak of nature that was about to smash these people’s lives upside down.

Once the tsunami had hit, it was the strength of the courage and love between Maria and her son Lucas that was so heart-wrenchingly touching. She didn’t know where her husband and two younger sons were, but she and Lucas hung on to debris together, knowing that they must stay safe for the other. They were all they had now. Watching Lucas – still a boy, but on the cusp of manhood – gritting his teeth to push his injured mum further up a tree to safety was hard to watch without imagining my son in the same position, which opened my flood gates and took at least a few tissues to mop up. Earlier in the film, when Lucas watched his mum being washed past him face down before surfacing and taking a breath which showed him she was alive, he uttered the heartbreaking words “never do that to me again, mum. Never do that.” He thought she was dead and only then did you see him allow the signs of the scared little boy within him peep through.

While Maria and Lucas were found and taken to hospital, dad Henry and the other two boys were in turmoil not knowing whether mum and Lucas were alive. Ewan McGregor and Naomi Watts are fantastic in their parts as parents thrown into a nightmare situation but the boys are all something else. For such young actors to play incredibly emotional and powerful scenes with such conviction was mind blowing. The tears I cried were also credit to their performances as well as to the tragedy of all of those families whose normal lives were ripped apart that day.

There was a happy ending in that the family were eventually reunited, and in a tragedy that killed more than 230,000 people, what are the odds of that?

So Queen Teen was right in that I was a bit of a teary wreck after watching The Impossible, but the film also left me feeling more than ever that the bond between a family is amazing. It makes you want to celebrate that our children, husbands and wives are here right now. Today.  Maybe our lives aren’t that exciting, we might moan and bicker about our husbands not putting out the rubbish and snoring or the kids not getting on with their homework, but does it really matter? For a while, after watching this film, you’ll cherish the normality of your own, lovely, family.

Great Dog Walks for Londoners

Walkies!

At the beginning of the year, I wrote a post about how I love my daily dog walk and since then have had a few dog-loving tweeters following me or just checking in to see if I’ve written any other dog-related blogs or tweets. I must admit, I do ramble on a bit about my gorgeous black lab Troy (mostly on Twitter as I’ve been a bit slack on the blogging front, sorry!) But even though I like to upload the odd photo…okay, okay, he’s my screen saver on the laptop, the Mac and my mobile…but I do try not to be as annoying as those new parents with their cringe worthy Facebook statuses like  ”ooh, look! Little Jimmy did  his first poo poo in the potty”  complete with pic showing the poo. There will be no doggy do do photos…promise!

But who could resist?

My gorgeous Troy

But enough about my dog! I wanted to let you know about a great little glossy book that came into my hands from fellow Tweeter and dog lover @walkwithboomer. It’s called Dog Friendly Walks in and around London, walking with Boomerang and it features 12 walks across London ranging from 1 to 8 miles long. What I love about it is the useful information on where you can stop for a drink or bite to eat in pubs and cafes that won’t turn their nose up at a mucky mutt who’s just been splashing in the river. I need this! The times I’ve walked with Troy, heard the call of a lovely glass of cold wine but couldn’t find anywhere suitable to stop with Troy. So, this book is ideal.

I can’t wait to try out a few of these walks and if you’re interested in finding out more, you can pick up a copy online from www.bestdogwalksuk.com for £4.99 or email walkwithboomer@gmail.com for more info. So, what are you waiting for? Get that lead out, pull on those wellies and follow that New Year’s Resolution to get fit by walking more…Have fun!

That’s so S.A.D

All of the signs are there: I’m wearing Uggs – my sparkly, much loved Fitflops are now consigned to the ‘shoe-coat jungle’ under the stairs.

My Boy’s cosy, too-big-for-me hoodie has become my new best friend and on my desk sits not the healthy smoothie and salad combi that had become my fave lunchtime nibble for the last few months. No. Today, on my desk is evil personified – a huge bar of chocolate so enticing in its smooth golden wrapper, that I want to shove it down my cake-pipe (as little Angel calls it) and munch until I vomit.

Apart from the comfort food and cosy attire, there are other signs, such as pressing the ignore button on my Blackberry when my phone rings – can’t be bov’d to answer and have a jolly chat. And I’m also finding it impossible not to slope from my work desk to the too-close-to-resist sofa early in the afternoon. So, what are these all signs of? S.A.D – which stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder. Or Shitty And Depressing more like it.

I’ve just returned from a fabulous weekend away to sunny Spain with my sister where we lazed on the beach and drank Sangria…and Cava and beer and wine and…well, we don’t get away together much so we were celebrating! And as I stepped on the plane back to London, I tried to come to terms with the heinous fact that I probably wouldn’t be seeing the sun for at least 6 months, so I’d better find a few ways of coming to terms with it. Here are a few things I’m going to try – if you feel your inner glow disappearing with the sunshine you might like to join me…

• Hard though it is to resist that coffee that I love, stimulants like tea, coffee and caffeinated drinks can put the adrenal glands (which help you deal with anxiety and stress) on high alert, making you more stressed than before. So, I’m going to cut down my caffeine and try some tasty herb and fruit teas such as Rosehip, high in Vitamin C which is good for the immune system, skin and adrenal function. After the excesses of my Spanish break, It might be worth having a few slugs of Milk Thistle and Dandelion tea as well – it’s a natural liver cleanser.
• I’d better try to switch that Toblerone for foods rich in omega 3 essential fatty acids such as oily fish, brown rice, Avocados, beans and bananas. These are said to help increase the brain chemical, seratonin which gives you a natural happy high. Then again, don’t panic too much because a couple of pieces of chocolate will also give you a little seratonin fix and release those mood boosting endorphins. But just remember the mantra…a little of what you fancy does you good and don’t O.D on Dairy Milk else you’ll feel sick. And get fat. And that will make you feel even worse!
• Vitamin D is a feel good nutrient produced in the body by sunlight on the skin. You’ll be hard pressed to get much of that in our British winter, so take a supplement or get your quota through eating fish, eggs and fortified cereal.
• Even though I feel like a sleepy slug, I know exercise is one of the best ways of feeling and looking good inside and out, so I shall make the most of my canine ‘personal trainer’ Troy – who drags me to the park as fast as he can and helps blow away those doom and gloom cobwebs.
• I think I’m going to invest in a SAD busting light like one of these which comes on very slowly (imitating sunrise) allowing your body to subconsciously respond to the increased light levels around you so that you wake up feeling refreshed. Supposedly. I’ll let you know when I’ve tried it, but if it’s good enough to help the British Swimming team get into a freezing cold pool to train at 5am, it’s good enough to get me out of my pit to screech at the family.

If you’ve got any tips to make these dark, cold days any more bearable, please do share…just don’t expect me to share my Toblerone. Thanks.

And here’s a show tune to cheer us all up!

Sleepover Shockers

Muuuuuum, can I have a sleepover?

Those 6 little words can strike fear in the hearts of even the hardiest of parents. Sleepover. Whoever invented these night time terrors needs shooting…or even worse…a gang of kids full of sweets and fizzy drinks to sleepover at their house.

I considered myself quite a popular child but I can’t remember having sleepovers (and I just checked with a couple of my old school mates to make sure that they weren’t actually having sleepovers and not inviting me! They swear they weren’t.) In ‘my day’ we went to a friend’s house for tea, or to a party, then came home and slept in our own beds. Just a few hours of fun at a friends house was enough for us…we didn’t moan when our parents came to pick us up that ‘oh, you’re so mean mummy! You never let me have a sleepover’. No, when our parents picked us up – or our friends’ parents picked them up from our house – we knew our time together was up, for now.

Stressed Husband always laughs (rather manically) at the term sleepover because, as he says “Nobody bloody sleeps! The kids stay awake all night – and the parents holding the sleepover certainly don’t get any sleep either because they’re too busy popping into the  room to get the kids to ‘settle down now’.” He’s right.

I suppose not everybody has terrible experiences when their kids have a sleepover (those parents probably have scary hair and brandish a big sharp, stick  to frighten the little devils to sleep) and now that my children are older, sleepovers are much easier to handle. But if I think back to some of the sleepovers in the Writeonmum household they include these memorable nights:

1. The ‘My Eyebrow Hurts’ Sleepover. Teen Queen was 8 years old when she asked for 5 friends to sleepover for her birthday. Five little 8 year old girls…how much trouble can the darling little princesses cause? So, I said yes. All went well for the first few hours – tap dancing and excited screeching shook the house, but by 10pm I told SH to come out from under the cushion because ‘they’ll be asleep soon’. Ha. Ha. Ha. After politely telling the girls to ‘settle down’ every half hour from 10.30 until 1am with no joy, it suddenly became quiet. Great? No. I thought I’d check on them and that was the first mistake. Girl number 1: My head hurts. I went to get her a drink of water and hoped I could hold off on the Calpol as I didn’t want to administer meds without permission from her mum – who I knew was out making the most of a child-free night. Girl Number 2: My ear hurts. Back down the stairs I went for another glass of water…when I walked back into the bedroom, there was a couple of other ailments…sore throats and tummy aches. I wondered whether little Teen Queen was playing a joke on me but as I looked around the room I noticed that most of the girls looked tearful and home-sick. Oh no! So, at about 3am, I was sat huddled with the girls around me reading bedtime stories until they were all much jollier and ready for bed. Phew! Just as I walked out the room, eyes bloodshot like a Tom and Jerry cartoon (I really needed matchsticks!) a little, trembly voice piped up..….my eyebrow hurts. Pleeeeeeaaaase!

2. The ‘Fall Out’ Sleepover. Fast forward 6 years and I was used to sleepovers. I didn’t particularly like them, but I learned how to manage them as successfully as I could. But this one time, Teen Queen had 4 fourteen year olds over. The mess was a hundred times worse than the 8 year olds – make-up smeared on bed sheets, dripping nail varnish, bras hanging from lamps, glossy magazines strewn across the floor, turning the carpet into a death trap. The giggling about boys, clothes and music was entertaining – if a few decibels too loud. SH and I were asleep by 12 as the girls began to chill out with a movie. Until…at 5am, mother’s instinct made me snap open my eyes and alerted me to the sound of the front door quietly closing. I jumped out of bed, threw on a dressing gown and slippers and ran downstairs to find all the girls, but one, gently snoring. I drove around the streets in the darkness, panicking that one of my friend’s daughters was wandering around on her own and I was responsible for her! Thankfully, I found her standing at a bus stop. Her excuse?

There was, like, a bit of a fall out between us girls? And, like, I reaaaaalllly needed my space. 

Needed her SPACE? At 14? I felt like kicking her spoilt little butt into space! Instead I gave her a lift home (still dressed in my snazzy night time ensemble) and returned to my house a shaky, exhausted mess.

3. The ‘Pass The Sick Bucket’ Sleepover: A couple of years ago, My Boy and a friend indulged in a spot of under-age drinking at a party. Don’t shoot me – it happens! Apparently, the parents of the boy’s party were out and left the kids to their own devices for a few hours. All that was available was soft drinks but of course, a few chancers bought along their own paint stripper vodka and beers.

An hour after My Boy’s curfew and after failing to get hold of him on his mobile, I stood at the top of the stairs staring, unblinking, at the front door using ‘mother’s magic powers’ to bring him through it safely. It worked. He was home and after 10  minutes of trying to find the lock, he and his best friend, fell into the hallway and proceeded to bounce across the hallway hitting the walls, from side to side, like a couple of human pin balls. They were completely oblivious that I was standing watching them. Best Friend found his way to the loo and began the ‘song of Huey’ while My Boy cluttered in the cupboards knocking packets of crisps and biscuits onto the floor. After a huge telling off for both of them – I might as well have been talking to jelly – and trying to get them to drink lots of water, My Boy fell asleep on the sofa. Meanwhile, his friend continued to vomit as I held the bucket and wiped his forehead way into daylight.

Those are just a few of the sleepover shockers that stick in my mind and there are more, but I don’t want to scare you too much.

Little Angel is a regular sleepover-er too and it hasn’t, so far, been too bad. Her worse nightime crime? She has a habit of re-arranging bedrooms – hers and her friends – by moving heavy wardrobes, beds and other furniture around in the dead of night. She also like to make pancakes at 4am in the morning… ho, hum.

So, next time your child whines muuuuuuum can I have a sleepover? Make sure you’ve got scary hair and a big stick.

Street Party Paradise

Wow. What a whir of a weekend and the Bank Holiday isn’t even over yet! Went to an amazing street party with fabulous friends and really got into the whole Cool Britannia theme with painted nails, glitzy GB transfers, Union Jack deely boppers and flip flops.

We ate red, white and blue fare, drank red vodka jellies, wiggled our hips to Zumba in the street while the kids met up with friends and played happily ‘a la childhood 1970s’ – in and out of each other’s houses and in the church gardens. As evening descended, we went to a friend’s house, drank more vodka jellies and boogied to the Best of British sounds – Wham!

One of the things I love most about where I live is that we don’t really need an excuse for a street party – what with our wonderful local bar and eaterie, you’ll often find an impromptu party going on as friends and residents spill out onto the pavement on a sunny, summer evening. Actually, it doesn’t even have to be summer – our Halloween evening shin digs in the W4 streets are so popular that the adults look forward to trick or treating as much – or even more –  than the kids. In fact, parents in-the-know, take their little goblins trick or treating straight after school to be sure there are people in because most mummy and daddy wizards and witches can be found holding their own monster mash outside the local by 6pm.

I am proud to be British and this Queen’s Diamond Jubilee weekend has only enforced that but what I am even more grateful for, is the excuse to party and celebrate with fantastic friends and family in a community that embraces everyone no matter what race, colour or creed. Watching the children making new friends and the adults mingling and getting to know their neighbours, I’m aware that we are making happy memories that will last forever – and that’s something to celebrate!

Happy Jubilee Holiday to you all!

xx